In today’s reflection, I want to talk about what we still have when it feels like everything is gone.
A few months ago, a post on LinkedIn stopped me. A Romanian woman was writing about why she left Norway after twelve years. It had gone viral, and the comments kept coming. I wanted to leave one too. Then I thought, no. Let me write to her directly.
Her name is Cristina Parvulescu.
Meet Cristina
Cristina moved to Norway at 24 for an internship. She stayed twelve years and built a career in sustainability, food systems and social impact.
Then it all fell apart at once. She lost her job. She lost her relationship. Her family was far away. She applied for jobs and nothing happened.
At a wedding, a heavily pregnant friend told her she didn’t have the support she needed to give birth the way she wanted. That was the first click. Cristina trained with Mayan midwives in Guatemala and studied at a gentle birth clinic in Bali.
Last year she took her leap of faith and moved home to Sibiu, Romania. Today she is a doula, birth educator, massage therapist and yoga teacher. She goes to new mothers’ homes, cooks for them, and helps their bodies recover. The way the village used to.
What stayed with me
1. Start with what you still have. Alone, without a job, in a foreign country, Cristina asked herself one question: what do I have? A roof over her head. Her skills. Her family. Her health. It's so easy to lose sight of what we have when everything hurts. She built from there, one small thing at a time.
2. When nothing happens for you, give. Mind, body, nature, community. That was her way through. And when nothing was moving, she volunteered, organized events for women, joined women’s circles. “If nothing happens for you, then focus on giving.” Most of us have time in transition seasons. We can give it, and gain a community.
3. Suffering is not normal. Her message to every woman: you deserve care as much as you give. So many new mothers say "I don't need anything" while they slowly isolate themselves. And if you want to help a friend who just had a baby, Cristina's advice is simple: leave a pot of home-cooked food at her door.
My reflections
Listening to Cristina, I thought about how similar our stories are, and how different.
Cristina said she always wanted to go back. So she is back. When I left Romania, I never said I would go back. I left it open. So I am still here.
Do you see how we construct our own realities? She is back home, while I am still in another country. But I do feel at home.
We definitely share the gratitude practice that gives us peace every day.
When life took away a long relationship I thought I would be in forever, and then a job, I found myself without my family, in a foreign country, with nowhere to go to work or to socialise. In my mid 40s, when most of my close friends either have families with kids or are busy working full time and long days.
I found time and space. I had all the time in the world to think about my entire life. To reflect, and to decide to flip the script.
I could have gone numbing myself with alcohol, with extreme sports, with cigarettes, with dating. But I looked at the people doing it, and I didn’t like what I saw. So I decided to go the other way. A way that was not populated, and start building a new road. One in which I went inwards and stripped away all the expectations society and everyone had of who I should be by that age: 45.
Here is my takeaway so far: to be at peace in your own body and mind, to find home in yourself, you have to mute the noise, take time for yourself, and listen to what your soul wants.
I know that is difficult to do when the life you built is busy and doesn’t allow you any time for yourself. But I urge you to find at least one hour for yourself each week, to connect with yourself.
All the answers you are looking for outside of yourself, by asking people, watching podcasts, or looking for inspiration... None of it is wrong. But you won’t find your answers there. Your answers are within yourself. And you find them in that hour, when you give yourself permission to stay still and listen to what you want.
A question for you
When did you last let someone help you? And what do you still have today that you stopped noticing?
I’d love to hear. Reply in the comments or reach out. I’m collecting these stories.
It does not cost you anything to share. And sharing is caring!
Until next time, gorgeous: keep moving. Keep questioning. Keep being brave enough to not fit the mold. Your non-linear path isn’t a failure. It’s evidence that you’re paying attention.
And the world needs that.
See you in the next one,
Cris