In today’s reflection, I want to give you something rather than tell you a story.
Almost two years ago I lost my job. What followed was not a plan. It was coaches, books, workshops, and a long list of questions I did not want to answer. I learned slowly. I learned expensively.
And then six months ago I started this podcast, and something happened that I did not expect. Every person who sat down with me had built a life that looked nothing like anyone else’s. Alina left the perfect job at thirty because a question would not leave her alone. Steve walked away from Partner at a global advisory firm. Max left Microsoft and now teaches AI from a small island in the Azores. Marina was laid off at thirty and did not panic.
Not one of their definitions of success matched another. That is the whole point of this show. There is no single way to live a fulfilled life. There are dozens.
But underneath all those different lives, the same few things kept showing up. Over and over. My brain loves patterns, and it could not stop noticing this one.
So this week’s episode is just me, and ten lessons.
You cannot control the macro world, but you can prepare yourself for it.
Complaining does not help. Your brain believes what you tell it.
Write down three small good things every day.
Clarity comes from moving, not thinking.
Your sensitivity is not the problem. It is the advantage.
The people around you decide who you become.
Consistency beats intensity.
You are allowed to disappoint people.
Be present.
Stay open, take one action, then look up in a year.
Three that cost me the most
Rewrite these three in your own words. This is the section that will read as yours or not.
Clarity comes from moving, not thinking. This one was hard for me, because I like to think. I can sit and think all day. And thinking felt productive, which is what made it so easy to keep doing. But clarity is not the thing you need before you move. Clarity is what moving gives you. What kept me on the couch was never a lack of information. It was fear, wearing the costume of preparation.
The people around you decide who you become. It took me decades to really understand this one. Not the surface of it, the bottom of it. Look honestly at who you spend your time with. Are they finding solutions, or are they narrating the problem? Are they chasing something, or are they talking about other people so they do not have to look at their own life? Not everyone is in your life for the rest of your life. You already know what you need to do.
You are allowed to disappoint people. Not everyone is here to like you. You do not like everyone either, and that is fine. People grow in different directions, and sometimes a break between two people is the kind thing. I have also had relationships come back years later, once both of us had moved the same way. Let go of the need to be liked by everyone and you will sleep like a baby.
Also worth rewriting. This is the part readers come for.
A year ago, if you had told me I would be running a podcast, sitting across from people whose stories I now carry around with me, and writing my second book, I would have said that is impossible.
I did not plan any of it. I did not have a five year plan. I did not have a three year plan. What I had was a direction and the willingness to notice what was already in front of me.
That is the thing nobody tells you about losing a job, or a relationship, or a version of yourself. The opportunities are not in the future, waiting for you to become ready. They are in the present, and they are usually smaller than you expect, and you will walk straight past them if you are living in your head.
I am still learning all ten of these. I have not graduated from any of them. But I did not want you to pay what I paid to find them.
A question for you
Which one of the ten do you need today? Not the one that sounds most impressive. The one that made you slightly uncomfortable.
I’d love to hear. Reply in the comments or reach out. I’m collecting these stories.
It does not cost you anything to share. And sharing is caring!
Until next time, gorgeous: keep moving. Keep questioning. Keep being brave enough to not fit the mold. Your non-linear path isn’t a failure. It’s evidence that you’re paying attention.
And the world needs that.
See you in the next one,
Cris