The No That Was Actually a Green Light
True Story
A week ago, I almost walked away from one of the biggest green lights of this year. Because it was dressed up as a red one.
Prefer to watch? Hit play below otherwise, keep reading.
Here’s what happened.
I sat down in a meeting that mattered. A lot. I was there to ask for six months of support to build my business the work I’ve been quietly building toward for years.
The man sitting across from me had already read my application. This wasn’t a pitch. It was just an interview, a chance to meet me face to face.
I came prepared too. My numbers. My plan. My story. I thought I was being crystal clear.
And the answer came back: no.
Not a maybe. Not a “let’s see.” A clear no.
I want to be honest with you about what happened inside me in that moment, because I think you know the feeling. Part of me wanted to argue. And other part of me, the older, more frightened part, just wanted to say “okay, thank you,” gather my things, and quietly disappear. To accept the red light and drive home.
For most of my life, that’s exactly what I would have done.
But something has shifted in me over the last five years. Slowly. Quietly. And in that moment, instead of defending or disappearing, I did something different.
I got curious.
I asked a real question. Something like: “Can you help me understand what you’re seeing?”
And that’s when everything changed.
Because the man across the table wasn’t responding to the story I thought I was telling. In his mind, I was one kind of person, in one kind of situation. In my mind, I was someone else entirely. We were looking at exactly the same facts and seeing two completely different pictures.
The no wasn’t about me not being enough. The no was about a gap. The story I meant to tell, and the story that actually landed, were two different stories.
So I stopped trying to convince. I started listening. And then I did the most uncomfortable, most human thing I know how to do: I told the truth. The real version. Not the polished one.
And the no became a yes.
Six months of support to build the work I love. The green light was there the whole time. I just couldn’t see it through the gap.
Because here’s the thing a red light and a misread light look identical from the driver’s seat. The only way to tell them apart is to slow down, look again, and get curious about the intersection.
We do this everywhere. Someone tells us no, and we instantly decide we know why. We fill the gap with our worst story “They don’t want me.” “I’m not good enough.” “This isn’t for me.” But so many nos aren’t rejections. They’re misunderstandings wearing a costume.
This week’s practice
Catching green lights isn’t a one-time event, it’s a daily muscle. So this week, here’s something small you can actually practice.
The next time you hear a no from a client, a partner, a boss, even from yourself try this before you react:
Pause. Don’t argue, don’t shrink. Just pause.
Get curious. Ask one honest question: “Can you help me understand what you’re seeing?”
Listen for the gap between your story and theirs.
Share your truth not the impressive version, the real one. #BeHuman.
You’ll be amazed how many “closed doors” are simply waiting for one more honest conversation.
A question for you
Where are you treating a misunderstanding like a final answer? What no are you about to accept that might just need one more curious question?
The green light might already be there. You just have to see the intersection clearly.
It does not cost you anything to share. And sharing is caring!
Until next week,
Cris