In today’s reflection, I want to talk about the stories we tell ourselves about what our life is allowed to look like.
At the end of August, I was in Ponta Delgada, on São Miguel in the Azores. One morning I decided to join a free walking tour. My very first one, ever.
Two hours later I knew two things. I knew a lot more about the history of that city. And I knew I had to invite our guide to the podcast.
Her name is Tina. She said yes. Of course she did.
Meet Tina
Tina was adopted as a baby in 1963. For fifty-nine years, where she came from was a sealed secret. She was raised by a Portuguese father in Lowell, Massachusetts, in a community full of Azorean families. She grew up hearing about the Azores her whole life.
In her twenties she was a single mother. She heard on the news that nobody would take care of her in retirement, so she started saving. And never stopped.
She became a nurse case manager. At 47, still working full time at the hospital, she started law school at night. She passed the bar at 50. Then she quit her job to walk the Camino de Santiago, 800 kilometers, without a word of Spanish.
About eleven years ago, four people close to her died within a short time. She took it as a message. Stop saying someday. So she and her husband made a plan.
She retired at 60. They bought a house on São Miguel they had only seen online. Six weeks after landing on the island, she was leading walking tours. In a country whose language she didn’t speak.
Today she guides visitors through Ponta Delgada, runs a crochet club that makes blankets and hats for neighbors in need, and laughs more than almost anyone I know.
If you ever visit São Miguel, book her tour here ( and here is her Instagram account @tinastoursbeyondthegatespdl GuruWalk). You will not regret it. And here is her Instagram account.
What Stayed With Me
Write your own. When Tina asked the guide she was about to cover for if she could have his notes, he told her: write your own. She asked again. Same answer. A third time. Write your own.
So she went home and spent three weeks writing a ten-page script about the history of a country she had just moved to. And she’s glad he said no. Because now it’s hers.
Nobody is going to hand you the script for your next chapter. Sometimes that’s the best thing that can happen to you.
It's not luck at all. People tell Tina she’s so lucky. She tells them: we’ve had horrible things happen to us. It’s not luck.
It’s decades of quiet saving. It’s a plan that took years. It’s a mindset she describes like one of the stone walls on São Miguel. The universe will put a wall in front of you. Your job is to go under it, over it, around it, or through it. But you get through.
What looks like luck from the outside is usually a decision someone kept making for a very long time.
Catch the yellow and red lights too. I ask every guest what it means to catch more green lights in life. Tina’s answer made me laugh out loud.
Green lights are easy, she said. Everybody goes on green. The interesting part is the yellow and the red. Every problem has a solution. If you don’t know the answer, someone else does. And if it goes wrong? “Nobody died. Nobody has cancer. Nobody’s pregnant.” Just keep going.
My Reflections
This is a beautiful story of someone who spent fifty-nine years not knowing where she came from, and still decided to write her own script and give herself permission to live a full life.
She hasn’t had an easy life, and she is not wealthy. She said it four times in our conversation. It’s worth sitting with, because I believe so many of us carry an identity like that, created a long time ago, unconsciously.
So here is what I have been sitting with: we decide who we want to become, at any stage in life. If you believe your life is over at 50, and this is your life (one in which you suffer, or you’re not happy, and you’re afraid to fight for more), then this is the life you are going to have.
We are the creators of our own minds. We create it first in our minds, and then the prophecy happens. It is not random. It is what you believe you can have. Or worse, what you believe you deserve.
I do believe each and every one of us deserves only the best.
Please keep dreaming of a better life. Pick up a book if your imagination is not rich. Try to travel to new places. Try new experiences. They don’t need to be big or expensive or cinematic. They can be yours. Go try a completely new hobby, even just a few times. Take a new course online, so many are free today. Get out of your comfort zone, whatever that is.
Look at Tina. What a beautiful life she has eventually built for herself.
A question for you
What story are you still telling yourself about what you deserve?
I’d love to hear. Reply in the comments or reach out. I’m collecting these stories.
It does not cost you anything to share. And sharing is caring!
Until next time, gorgeous: keep moving. Keep questioning. Keep being brave enough to not fit the mold. Your non-linear path isn’t a failure. It’s evidence that you’re paying attention.
And the world needs that.
See you in the next one,
Cris